Archaeological excavations confirm the existence of sit-down toilets in
Toilets are a necessary part of everyone’s daily life, and most of us hardly give them a thought. Like so many amenities, we don’t appreciate them till they’re gone. In the past dozen years or so many people have replaced their old water wasting toilets with the new eco-friendly models only to find them unable to perform to the high standards set by the old water pigs.
You know the ones I mean, those new double flushers. In 1995, the federal government passed a law requiring toilets to use no more than 1.6 gallons (3 liters) of water per flush. You see, some of the old toilets would use as much as seven gallons of water per flush, -enough to wash a Tonka away! Given the number of times a toilet is flushed every day, that translates to a lot of waste.
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But at first, the design was imperfect and the 1.6 gallon rush of water from the tank occasionally wasn’t enough to clear the bowl. If you have to flush the toilet 3 times to get the job done, then what good are the new regs? New designs followed and today, you’d have a tough time finding a new low-flow toilet that didn’t get the job done in a single flush. People are still reluctant to replace their old toilet for the new, more ecological models, but your old pal Jimmy is here to tell you they work just fine. Be not afraid. Some of these new models save enough water to pay for themselves in a year or two! Lower water use and less wear on your septic system are reason enough to upgrade, but people who are on the MWRA system will really save some dough.
The cost of a new toilet ranges from $40 to $1400 for a real throne. The high end models don’t necessarily work better, they simply have more modern designs and options like electric seat warmers (you think I’m kidding?), fancy-schmancy handles, varied bowl shapes and dimensions, and more colors than my old Crayola 64 pack. There are composting toilets, toilets with electric grinders built right in, and (in my opinion, this is the very zenith of vanity) those that deliver a spritz of perfume with every flush. If you’re spending a lot of dough on a bathroom remodel, I suppose it makes sense to spend a few hundred on just the right make and model, but the only concern most of us have is: “Will it get the job done?” From the low end, to the top of the line, the answer is: “Yes.” But don’t take my word for it, do a little research online before you buy. Some models have a little better track record than others.
Just in case you think those grant-writers aren’t real writers, one study published in the Journal of Light Construction reportedly spent over a million dollars developing a suitable, lab quality substitute for real-life turds while studying the double-flusher phenomena. They ultimately came up with something made of bean curd, that is -million dollar bean curd. I fancy myself a decent writer, but there ain’t no way I could come up with a grant proposal looking for cash money to “discover” a man-made, I mean “laboratory-synthesized” poop. Not when the real thing is in such great supply. If you’re thinking about a career change, it’s something to consider. And don’t get me started on those electric toilet seat warmers…
Attention Do-It-Yourselfer’s: Think you know a thing or two? Next time you’re online, treat yourself to a primer on the scientific study of toilets and their repair at: www.toiletology.com
Jim Morrison
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Morrison Home Inspections
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